February 2024
Love Like Ghosts
Hello friends old and new, welcome (back) to Sparrow House!
For the first newsletter of 2024, I want to extend a heartfelt Happy New Year. January vanished in a blur, leaving me in a post-holiday daze. Like the groundhog emerging from its burrow, I'm slowly waking up, though I'll still be squinting at the sun until Spring.
UPDATES
At the start of 2024, I consciously opted for a low profile. Lingering 2023 goals carried over, and I was becoming increasingly frustrated talking about them. Do you ever need a break from your nagging voice of self-doubt? After what seemed like endless deliberation over my intentions, I'm finally seeing tangible progress in my efforts. Though the frustration isn’t banished entirely–for example, I have jury duty as I type this–it's gradually fading as I commit to my daily artistic practice.
Farewell, depressing January; I've managed to gather momentum even amid your darkest days. Here are some flowers to brighten things up:
My collaboration with Andrea Schmitz which started in 2022 on the animated adaptation of "Legend of Mistletoe Bough” (1822) is nearing completion in the first quarter of this year. I can’t believe it will be a real thing in the world! Additionally, I'm applying updates to my illustration portfolio and seeking representation. I felt stuck for a while now and could only think of one solution to get out of it: no more talking, only doing. Character design from Mistletoe:
ROMANCING THE SHADOW
These introspective deep dives have led me back to the works of Carl Jung, with shadow work now guiding upcoming projects. I’ve been making my way, albeit slowly, through Jung’s Man and His Symbols (1968).
The concept of home, both physical and metaphorical, is becoming a focal point. After spending two decades of my life in Brooklyn, 2025 is slated to be the year we bid farewell to this city. I thought I would live here forever, so the prospect of seeking permanence elsewhere fills me with both excitement and fear. Jung's interpretation of the house as a symbol of the self resonates deeply with me more than ever, making it fitting that the themes of self and home align with my creative explorations. Throughout the year I'll delve into questions like "where is home?" more deeply.
“I stand in a space that is not my own and say, this could be a home.”
– Felicia Sullivan, from Find Me a Place Called Home
MY BLOODY VALENTINE
On this Valentine’s Day, why not take a moment to relax and snuggle up by a crackling fire? (I like this one from YouTube). Back in 2020, I had my character Nosferatu write me a Valentine. He’s lucky, in the second quarter of 2024, I plan on developing new animated shorts with my guy.
As for the true story behind Valentine's Day, it’s more interesting than all the red & white teddy bears lining the shelves of CVS. In ancient Rome, a priest named Valentine defied the emperor's orders by clandestinely performing marriages. Despite his imprisonment for this act of rebellion, Valentine found love with the jailer's daughter and, before his execution on February 14th, sent her a letter signed "From your Valentine." This poignant gesture has since immortalized Valentine as a symbol of love and commitment, giving rise to the modern celebration of Valentine's Day. It's astonishing to ponder the fate of a priest who sacrificed his life (he was beheaded!) to unite heterosexual couples in marriage. Yet, history reveals that in times of conflict, individuals are often manipulated into serving others' agendas, regardless of the consequences.
Relics of him were kept in the Church and Catacombs of San Valentino in Rome, which "remained an important pilgrim site throughout the Middle Ages until the relics of St. Valentine were transferred to the church of Santa Prassede during the pontificate of Nicholas IV". His skull, crowned with flowers, is exhibited in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. (wiki)
Valentine's Day has never been my cup of tea. I tend to deviate from societal norms on most matters anyway. Honestly, the more something conforms to the mainstream, the less it appeals to me. Take modern romantic comedies, for instance, especially ones like Love Actually (just the mention makes my left eye twitch). I watched it once and threw the DVD out the window. I'm aware that many people love these movies and I’m often outnumbered.
My favorite romantic comedy might be Roman Holiday (1954). I love Audrey Hepburn, and the film is so playful and enjoyable, but that bittersweet ending gets me right in the heart. I will also forever adore Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). In matters of romance, I'm most drawn to the dark and mysterious, a love so intense that it transcends even death itself. A yearning from the grave.
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.”
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
HAUNTED HEARTS
This fascination sparked the creation of "Haunted Hearts," an animated short I created for Things Took a Turn anthology in 2021.
An artist moves into an abandoned studio overlooking a graveyard and begins an unlikely courtship with an undead.
Early in the pandemic, we moved around the block from a massive graveyard in Brooklyn. While our view doesn't face the cemetery, walks often lead me past homes that do. It led me to envision my protagonist as a creative longing for connection, so much so that she finds it in a supernatural, ethereal manner—an experience akin to the bond artists often share with their creations. The intertwining of art and self represents yet another profound form of love. Also, I wanted to draw a skeleton.
Admittedly, the animation did not turn out the way I had envisioned. My initial goal was to delve into and forge a language bridging the realms of the dead and the living. I was attracted to the idea of stones. Across many cultures, stones serve as a means of remembrance, signaling to others that someone has visited the grave and still holds the deceased in memory. But what happens when there's no one left to keep the spirit alive? It’s a topic I will most likely revisit in a future project.
DIARY OF A TEENAGE GIRL
Alongside revisiting Jung, I've also found myself drawn back to the fascinating works of Anais Nin. I have been drawn to her writing since I first got my hands on Henry & June (1986), followed by the (albeit terrible) film adaptation starring Uma Thurman in 1990. When I later found out about her “Father Story”, my love record screeched to a halt. To continue to love her, I knew that eventually, I would have to confront her shadows and complexities just as I would my own.
Contemplating Nin led me to reflect on the kinds of books I devoured even before discovering her: the VC Andrews novels of my tween years. I vividly recall reading Flowers in the Attic (1979), with its explicit scenes of incestuous love between brother/sister and a myriad of other familial horrors (like locking children up in an attic and poisoning them). Despite the taboo nature of this content, I found myself engrossed in the intimate scenes, just as so many kids of my generation were, especially young girls, captivated by Flowers in the Attic and the subsequent (often incestuous) novels that followed. I found this interview with Ann Patty, editor of Flowers in the Attic, insightful on why these books were so popular back then. Hint: they’re forbidden fruit.
“Part of the appeal is the forbidden nature. Some parents and teachers outright ban the reading of V.C. Andrews, naturally making it all the more appealing. Kids know what’s up. Sneaking the book past watchful eyes is part of the pleasure”.
– Isabelle Popp
I remember convincing my mother to drive me to Genovese* immediately to get the follow-up book they sold at this family drugstore like some kind of addict. She would buy it for me and have no idea what I was reading. One thing I seemed to get away with was undercover smutty books to satiate my teenage curiosity. I remember staying up late into the night to finish Stephen King’s IT, getting in trouble for using the flashlight under the covers because my mother thought I was going to set the bed on fire. Little did she know that within IT there is an infamous sex scene that happens, consensual, though underage. I stayed up to finish all 1,184 pages of that book. I think my mother was just happy that I was reading.
LA BELLE FLEUR SAUVAGE
I have a special treat to share with you: a curated playlist for February! For me, there’s nothing quite like Otis Redding or the achy crooning of Roy Orbison to set the mood for love & longing. Most of the songs in the playlist are vintage, but there's an album from 2015 that steals my heart, the hauntingly romantic album "Strange Trails" by Lord Huron. It's a modern masterpiece that might just be my favorite album of all time. There is a fictional world behind it, as described in Way Out There:
[Strange Trails]…is described as an anthology of weird fiction. The events in the album center around characters who frequent a dive bar called George’s Place. The songs are credited to various characters, as the album is intended to be interpreted as Lord Huron covering the songs of the writers and performers within the narrative.
I highly recommend following the Strange Trails, they will take you who knows where.
“I die when our nights end, but I only stay dead ‘til I see you again.” — Lord Huron
And, whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, I truly hope you feel loved today–and every day.
See you in Spring,
🖤, A
I love Roman Holiday! And Anais, she's so dreamy...